Friday, December 16, 2005


I was just thinking about this word, "undone". It's one of my favourite words. Probably my most favourite at the moment.

When I think about being undone, I imagine the quiet falling away of silk that covers a precious jewel, or some other treasure. The knot that held the silk together being undone as if by an invisible hand. So fluid that it's almost as if nothing had moved in that single breathless moment.

The silk is my skin and my true essence is what's covered by it.

I feel like this in front of God a lot of times. Undone. Because He sees through everything, my facades, my masks, my facepaint. Even in the darkest of night, He sees me as though and through me as if by daylight. I'm naked, in all senses of the word, before His piercing eyes.

In another way, it also brings to mind something more earthly; the undoing of buttons, zips, etc. You know the rest. But I don't mean this in a purely physical way either. I can't explain it except to say; there are only two people I want to be undone by in this lifetime - God, and my husband.

That is why I find porn so disgusting and a waste of time. I also find it devoid of passion, despite all physical evidence to the contrary. What is physical union when it serves only to satisfy base desires? It's lifeless, and passion is vibrant and full of life. I don't have the 'gift' of men to put sex in a separate box from emotions. They're all entwined together, like the bedsheets and limbs of lovers.


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